POSTRURING

[UBIK]

Aye, like i said earlier, try to stay in character since this thread is *supposed* to let posturing take place before the game starts

[BelDragos]

Words of Wisdon to be heeded by all.

Now let's get on with the show!


*Conjures more popcorn*

[Mephista]

Woah. Lots has happened while I was at camp. So where are we and what is happening?

[Razor487]

All these gods running around waiting to be slain, and so little time to do it... *sigh* whatever shall i do?

[UBIK]

Razor, your a Master Assassin? i would like to see you in action sometime. I know a certain Goddess of Light that you may prove yourself with for me.

[Mephista]

You could also throw your lot in with me. I know a certain godling of darkness I would like to replace....

[Razor487]

well, who pays better?

[UBIK]

Pay has no meaning to a God of my stature, But since i like your attitude I will offer to spare your mortal life... unless you want otherwise?

[Razor487]

Spare my mortal life? You have much to learn about me sir. And for that insult i believe you shall be the first to taste my steel. Unless you fear me and dont wish to take a mortal form and battle me.....

[UBIK]

I would not consider that as an insult; It was more of an offer. I can give you more power than you could possibly imagine if you wish.

Seeing how the weapons you yeild could do me no harm: I would recomend that you swear loyalty to me, for we are on the same side. You hide in the same shadows i created to curropt rogues into my forces.

If it is material you wish for such as gold, silver, weapons and armour, I can create anything that you could want.

[BelDragos]

I see you dabble in the use of Magic.

If you wish to become one of my followers, you are certainly welcome. I allow my followers to devote themselves to others so your allegiance to Ubik or Mephisto will not interfere unless you act against me.

Think about it and let me know. It is your choice.

[Razor487]

Beldragos, If you would teach me more advanced magic than what i already know i would be honored to serve you.

Ubik, i have no need for material things. But as i said to Beldragos, if you would share even a small fraction of your knowledge with me i may decide against showing you exactly what powers my weapons have.

[UBIK]

You can learn more from Bel, However i can teach you more of the dark arts.... no nevermind im too busy torturing peasents for that...

[Lim-Dûl]

I would not waste your time with Razor. He/She only wishes that it had the mind capable of being an Assassin.

A hint of advice, Razor: I would go with Ubik's first offer before you find yourself on a sacraficial alter.

[BelDragos]

If you wish to learn from me all you have to do is find my Library. If you look hard enough you will discover it's location. I have made parts of it accessable to the Mortal Realm.

As to being one of my Followers. I do not require exclusivity from my worshipers. Being the Incarnation of Knowledge and Wisdom it would be foolish to restrict the access to further knowledge.

I must insist you share all you discover within the Fellowship of my Believers but you are under no obligation to share with those outside my ranks.

You must come to the aid of your brethern if they are in need.

Any others you would discover in time.

If you wish to remain within my ranks please seek out the Library.

[Razor487]

Lim-Dul, do not tempt me. It has been long since i have buried my dagger in someone! And even a whole army of undead in front of you shall not help guard against a dagger in your back.

[Lim-Dûl]

Tempt you? is that some sort of joke? ha ha, hey mephista this guys a comedian!

[Mephista]

I am waiting to see if he will join me in my endevors before I make a final evaluation.

[Lim-Dûl]

A wise young ladie you are. Sometimes i forget that my reputation has not reached this world yet.

[Razor487]

Your reputation has not reached this world......neither has mine, keep that in mind also, sir.

[Mephista]

I don't care if my reputation ever reached here. I started to make my own as soon as I arrived. I am confident the two will match because I am who I am, the rightful heir to the position of Dark Goddess. It was, is, and will still be my birthright from the moment I came into existance until the end of the multiverse. You can choose to follow me or you can choose to follow that other one over there that is afraid of his own shadow. The choice is yours. The winner or the fallen? It seems an easy choice to me.

[MIthrandir]

/emote stares around the group and exclames "woot! u ppl are just as f*cked up as i am, i feel at home allready"

hello everybody

[Mephista]

I see a new follower has appeared. Who do you choose?

[Lim-Dûl]

I see that the God Of Darkness of this world and you had a little fit. Why do you wish to take his place? Do you think that you could actually accomplish more as a goddess of darkness...?

You two should unite your powers and get some real curruption going instead of the squabling.

[Mephista]

It is not in my nature to be subserviant to another who is less than I am. I guess I got it from my mother. She walked out on Adam when he started seeing that bimbo. It was a good thing because that decision allowed her to be away when those two lost their immortality.

[Lim-Dûl]

I see... I read up on this God, He is not of your kind, mephista. He once was a puny human arch-bishop to the two goddesses. He is still young and does not know the extent of his powers. Out of curroption he killed the two goddesses most powerful warriors, Something that would have taken hundreds of my undead to do.

The blade chose him mephista, and it killed his mortal body.

Do not be to hard on the boy, he is still learning the ropes.

[Mephista]

You remember how headstrong my mother was. She even had Mephisto afraid. It was fun watching them two go at it because we all knew Lillith would win. I guess that is why they were both together so long. She gave him some guidelines and direction to follow.
As to Ubik's neivity, he had better learn fast or he will fall. He is in a position where a weak hand cannot be allowed. If he is weak, then the other side will win. If they win, the demon realm will be the next to fall. I will not allow that. Even if I have to take the reins myself. Think...if the good side wins, you are looking for a new body. I've grown to like the one I have.

[UBIK]

I have done some research on you as well Lim-Dul. From your actions you are who you claim to be. I am quite impressed with your list of accomplishments.

[BelDragos]

Yep, he even has his own Paladins.


I love the irony....

[Mephista]

*A huge demonic looking gopher zombie runs through the thread*

[BelDragos]

Damn!

That's one ugly critter.

Het Mephista, I think your pet dropped something when it shambled by.

*Hands her an arm*

[Xylenix]

Originally posted by Mephista
*A huge demonic looking gopher zombie runs through the thread*

Looks like it lost a foot too... Zombies and running just don't get along well..

[Kornflakee]

Poor, unpracticed zombies, when will you learn that the classic waddle of the zombies of old is the only way to go? Running is unbefitting, that would have made Night of the Living Dead much too fast paced.

[Kornflakee]

Oh yeah, I forgot to introduce myself. Kornflakee's the name, ramblin's the game. Uh, other than laziness. Dat's another game of mine....no reputation to speak of. Nice to meet y'all.

[Xylenix]

If one has wit, a reputation isn't necessary. Rambling is an art: incessant rambling is a crime to all with ears.

[BelDragos]

Once again you show evidence that age is not required to possess Wisdom.

[Xylenix]

*Out of Charachter* Speaking of age -> My birthday is in less than a month!! :p

[Kornflakee]

Well, if rambling is an art, call me Picasso. I'll paint you the Mona Lisa in long-windedness. In fact, seeing as everyone has a title, how bout I'll take Master of ADD. :)

[BelDragos]

(OOC)

Heh

I remember when AD&D was first comming out.

I started playing when the box on the shelf was called Basic. It was in a blue box, before they repackaged it in the red box.

This was back in 1978.

How do I compare? Am I in the running for the title?



(Even though this is the Posturing Thread, I am telling the truth about this.)

[Lim-Dûl]

Or does he mean Attention deficit disorder?

I believe you would have to fight for it against Efz88, he was Master of ADD... or something.

[Kornflakee]

Haha, Attention Defict Disorder all the way. I mean, how else could I hop around this many forums :). I tell ya I'll put up a helluva fight for it too. I lose things, while wearing or holding them. Yes, I've lost sweaters I was wearing. Do I get distracted by shiny things? Yes, and It takes me hours to complete math assignments. I slice. I dice. I make Julienne Fries. What was I talking about?

[Mephista]

Hey Lim. I'll take care of him for you.

*flips a nice and pretty gold coin in the air so the sun reflects off it*

He should join in the Battle Arena.

[Kornflakee]

*eyes follow shiny gold coin*

Oooooooooh! Oooh! Ooooh!

*Jumps at coin, and knocks self unconcious on surprisingly hard ground*

[Xylenix]

*Steps over the unconcious body while walking to the other side of the room...*

[Useless]

*kicks unconcious body and tells his friendly ak freind Friday to poke it with a stick*

*poke!*

Silly old man......

Anyways,....


IWANNAGETBACKINTHEARENA!USELESSISBACKBABY!

>=Þ :D

oh yea... and hey, everybody.

[Kornflakee]

*Wakes up*

Wah.....What the.....Hell?
Ok, where did all these marks come from!?

*An amazing force is suddenly unleashed; spire of light comes flying out*

I'm Kornflakee the His greatness! How DARE you call me an old man! I could vanquish you to the deepest depths of....

*Alzheimer's kicks in, light fades, looks confused*

Who? What? When? Where? Why?

Uh....hey, could anyone tell me why I'm covered in boot marks?

[Mephista]

If you two really want in the arena then ask. Nothing has started yet.

[Kornflakee]

Hm, sounds like fun!

(Oh Yeah, and a note to the dude, uh, I'm 16, hehe)

Let's go!

(Uh, and another thing....how did you get those characters?)

[Mephista]

We create them as we go. We design a background that is within reason and roll play them on the boards.

If you want a God then you have to eliminate one of the ones who are already here. Not easy and extremely long process. I am working on mine.

;)

[Kornflakee]

Ah, I understand now, I'll get into it....after y'all get done with your little fight, I'll make sure to start trouble. :)

[BelDragos]

You might as well start now. There is no time like the present to begin.

I started this Thread so everyone could let go and have fun. Come on and join us.

[Useless]

yess.......
*zobie-fied voice* joooooiiiiiinnnnn uuuuuusssss..........

oh yea...and the correct phase is...*ehem*

"Hell hath no fury like a woman's porn" !

>=Þ

[Kornflakee]

hehe, I thought I was in already, or is the hazing next XD.

Sure, I'm in as sin, baby. Zombies are convincing, good arguments. I'm in, and there's no coming back from the darkness :), hehe.

[Mephista]

I dare you to come to the arena and mock me useless. what a fitting name...

[Kornflakee]

Ooooh! oooh! oooh!

I hope bel comes back soon so me and useless can get in the arena! (er, I'd more like to see Useless getting a whooping!)

C'mon Bel! We need action!

[BelDragos]

Actually I am waiting for Useless to show up in the Battle Arena Thread. If he doesn't want to enter then I will let you in. If anyone else wants in then they better get there soon.




*BelDragos looks at kornflakee with a serious expression*

The name is BelDragos. I am the Elder God of Magic, The Keeper of Secrets, The Incarnation of Wisdom and Knowledge, The Guardian of the Spark of Inspiration. I have even been called The God Maker in places.

Only my Family may address me with such familliarity.

Show respect.

(hehehe:D )

[Useless]

I'm there >=)

[Kornflakee]

I'm a....himmina.......ibbity....

Uh......

*looks around nervously*

*runs away with great speed, and hits a wall*

[Xylenix]

What a queer and accident prone little being.... :rolleyes:

[BelDragos]

Yes, it will be interesting watching him in the Arena.

Shall we retire to the Arena to watch? I have to ref the event.

[Xylenix]

And I have popcorn to sell, sounds like a plan... :)

[Mephista]

You should sell drinks too. All that popcorn will make everyone thirsty. I get a share of the profits on the drinks.

[Xylenix]

Actually, I was already selling drinks, and rotten tomoatoes, and pepto-bismol I believe...

[Mephista]

Well, there goes my dreams of wealth.

[Kornflakee]

*Kornflakee transforms his weapon thingy into a bucket*

Popcorn, please.

*Xylenix gives him popcorn, he pays her, scarfs it, and runs back to the Arena*

[Mephista]

*Mephista continues to flip the gold coin in the air to distract him so his avitar suffers.*

I love being Evil.

[Xylenix]

Mmmmm... Suffering..... :cool:

[Mephista]

Such a joyous thing.

[Kornflakee]

Hm, Postruring IS NOT going to be pushed off the first page. Hell no!

[Defunc13]

word association>>
hell no...
hello...
hell oh...
hell oh ho ho...
hell hole..

[Mephista]

A Demonic Zombie Gopher runs through the thread.


(a private joke)

[Kornflakee]

*Kornflakee runs off the thread into distant threads, chasing said gopher. He heard that Zombie Gopher meat is exquisite when roasted over an open fire.....*

[BelDragos]

If you like putrid possessed rodent flesh ...

[Xylenix]

I actually heard that cooked, rotten, flesh tasted good! Well, until the pain, stomach cramps, convulsions, and eventual painful death cut in....

[Kornflakee]

REAL men don't get horrible, deadly food poisoning! Don't be sissies!

*Continues chase*

[Nakhn]

bah, real men dont eat!

[Xylenix]

Or at least don't eat rotten zombie flesh...

[Mephista]

*The demonic gopher zombie stops and signs "Real people don't eat demonic gopher zombies, they get eaten by them". The Zombie continues his trek.*

[Kornflakee]

Well, real Zombie Gophers taste delectable, so I say we ignore such rules for now....

*the chase continues*

[Mephista]

"You forget," he signs, "I am not a zombie gopher. They are in the Arena. I am a Demonic Gopher Zombie." He runs off the thread.

[BelDragos]

She does raise a good point

[Kornflakee]

Why didn't you tell me it was DEMONIC! Well, maybe you did....they're TWICE as delicious!

*Runs off the thread*

[Xylenix]

Oh well, when he dies a painful painful death, either at the hands of the demonic zombie gopher, or thanks to the food poisoning, can't say we didn't warn him... :rolleyes:

[Kornflakee]

*demonic gopher zombie, Kornflakee with knife and fork, UBIK with frying pan, Xylenix trying to burn eyes out, and any interested bystanders run the wacky Benny Hill chase onto the thread.*

[UBIK]

Ubik with a frying pan... Martha stewert beware:D

[Xylenix]

Originally posted by Kornflakee
[B Xylenix trying to burn eyes out[/B]

Trying?

[Defunc13]

well how many people do u know who've successfully burnt their own eyes out :p

it's not exactly like answering a really difficult maths question, but not too dissimilar.

[Kornflakee]

She's after MEEEEEEEEE!!!

*The chase continues, now with Defunc13 following behind and asking odd questions.*

[Xylenix]

I wasn't burning my eyes out. I burnt Kornflakee's out. But they'll grow back... Sooner or later... :p

[Dravlon]

Too bad the stuff we create tends to stay around. It is elemental fire aftet all.

[Defunc13]

I don't remeber any computers chips being particularly long lasting... u have to upgrade every 2 years or so

:p

[Xylenix]

Computer isn't an element.... So the chips wouldn't be designed to last....

[UBIK]

psh... elemental, more like 'smell-a-mental'.

*grabs a fire extinguisher* :p

[Mephista]

OOC

Computer chips??? I thought this was supposed to be in character.

IC

Hey Xylenix. Which would be hotter? Hellfire or Elemental Fire? My personal choice is Hellfire because it burns your spirit/soul.

[Defunc13]

lemon-lentil fire, taste the burn

[BelDragos]

Personally I wouldn't choose either Hellfire or Elemental Fire. Burning isn't pleasent.

[Xylenix]

Spiritually or physically hotter?

[Mephista]

Actually, now that I think about it each is hotter than the other in it's own way. We could both burn each other. If we teamed up there would be nobody who could defend against our fire, unless you know of an Elemental who is also Hellspawn.

[Defunc13]

could u stop a trained firewalker wearing aspestos drinking a cool refreshing beer blessed by the local nice god smoking some pot?

[Mephista]

Yep, he would die from Lung Cancer. Asbestos and Pot both would kill him withour our intervention. You also forgot that Xylenix is the Goddess of Fire. Xylenix could make the fire appear within his protective gear. After he swears, the blessing would go away and the Hellfire would fry him it's way. We would both get through.

[Defunc13]

The cool refreshing beer is the blessed stuff not the firewalker...
blessed to keep iy's drinker cool & hydrated... ie not flamable.

He's a trained firewalker, so not swearing should be vaguely natrual for him with all that training, but it shouldn't effect the beer.
(holy-water doesn't stop being holy cause u swear)

seeing as he inhales through the rolly the asbestos won't enter his lungs when he breaths in, just everbody elses.

Lung cancer takes a long time to kill & with all that healing magic bouncing around u can easily just get some funky healing just before it starts getting nasty.

The god smokes pot too so he doesn't mind swearing, but he does like sacrifical munchies.

so bleah:p

[UBIK]

Beer is flamable, if you are hydrated in beer..... heh heh heh good stuff there.

*ubik grabs some popcorn*

[Defunc13]

but it's blessed no-alcoholic beer:p
(don't touch the stuff myself)

[Kintoun]

lol thats some hiiiiiiigh percent alcohol beer if it's flammable!

[Kornflakee]

Hell, dude, I've got a can a of hairspray, I think you've got some frizz or something......

*stops chase*

(This should be fun)

*Everyone runs away from Defunc for about 100 yards.*

[Defunc13]

*Defunc13 steps from behind a curtain which mysterious appears*....

HAH! that's one of my minions.

meet bob the summoned water-elemental indisguise

say hello bob

*bob say "bllble"*

*Defunc13 disappears behind the curtain again, which disappears*

u'll never catch me with my ginger-bread-man-fu technique

:p

[BelDragos]

*BelDragos reaches within himself to the core of his being. He access the Power that gave him Life and streaches out his awareness to locate the unique connection Defunct possesses to the Multiverse. He grasps the thin conduit and uses it to summon Defunct.

Defunct materializes with a stunned and shocked look upon his face.

"What happened? Where am I?"

Defunct tries to leave but the magic fails to function for him.

BelDragos grasps the others Conduits to prevent them from leaving also.*

No running off!!!

[Defunc13]

* the 2nd Defunc13 then collapses into a pile of straw and wires*

nahahaha.... I never said I used fanasty magic, I using slight-of-hand.

smoke & mirrors & complexed but functional bubble universe generators

oh & I feel I should add "This is The Voice of the Mysterons"

* two circles of light skim across the floor *

[UBIK]

heh kint, its known as the "hard stuff"

[Dravlon]

*A mouth opens up in the floor and snaps shut on the two orbs. They are chewed up with a crunching sound.*

I hope those batteries weren't new.

[Mephista]

Ouch! I hope that wasn't expensive.

[Defunc13]

er, they're circles of light, u have about as much chance of eating them as hurting anyone when playing "lightsabres" with torches:p

u gotta find the source:p

[Mephista]

Huh?

If I hit you with a torch it would hurt. If it was actually burning, you would take fire damage too.

[Kornflakee]

Bah, wake me up when y'all stop playing like the most boring children ever.

*Kornflakee falls asleep, the Demonic Gopher Zombie runs off, and everyone crashes to a halt and sits to watch this boring stretch of POSTRURING*

[Defunc13]

torches as in they project light, u wave em around, they have batteries, and can be made to do this....

*annoying lights flicker from an unknown source *

...not the flamable ones. sorry if I confused u with my tech.:rolleyes:

[Mephista]

I was under the asumption that all the FLASH LIGHTS were destroyed when the Cataclysm spell went off and destroyed/reordered our world.

Foolish me...

[Defunc13]

well it's actually a small tube containing a quantity of phospherescent mold & a shutter so I can shut the light off
but it works the same way:D

u have to feed it ocassionally to stop the mold dying off

[Mephista]

*Uses a tiny tiny tiny amount of Hellfire to torch the life from the mold. The "flashlight" warms up and then goes out.*

Looks like you forgot to feed them or something.

[UBIK]

i prefer to catch fireflys, put 'em in a can, mash 'em up, and stir the goo whenever i need light ;)

[Defunc13]

#the mold seems to reform then re-light itself#

did I foget to mentino that the mold feeds off energy to sustain itself, heat, light, magical, kinetic energy etc:p

[Mephista]

Hellfire feeds off life. It uses the life essence as it's fuel and it goes out after the fuel is consumed, like mundane fire. All it would leave behind is an uncharred lifeless mold colony. The burning was done to it's lifeforce. If you had a bit of Hellfire on you that only did 1 point per turn and you regenerated at the same rate it would burn forever but you would be in torment as your lifeforce was being consumed. Water will not extinguish the fire. It is not physical so mundane methods would not affect it. You will have to figure out how to extinguish it before your flash light burns out. I don't imagine your mold colony had very many hit points, considering it's size.

[Defunc13]

if each individual cell of the mold is considered seperate & acts seperately. though the cells do not appear to have any intelligence the components which the cells consist of r still there. to damage it might spread the mold apart but wouldn't destroy it. to attempt to directly drain the life would find nothing that could permanently be destroyed. from nothing to amino acids upwards

[BelDragos]

Hmmmmm...

If that was true, why do things die?

They should be able to come back to life because the amino acids and other stuff you mentioned are still there.

Enough to this sideline of discussion. Lets get back to the subject at hand before the Posturing Thread turns into a theoretical discussion.

Let's see, if I remember correctly I fixed it so nobody could port out.

[Defunc13]

I hope u didn't expect me to be wandering around with ordinary mold. :p

#as defunc13 makes up mores excuses as to why whatever didn't work againist his mysteron reference (did america ever get captain scarlet?) the mold starts creeping out along his arm...
#

erm excuse me for a moment....

#defunc13 tries to brush off the mold as it spreads further#

erm...
ow!

#defunc13 rapidly disappears under the spreading mold.
the mold the collapses in on itself leaving no trace of itself or defunc13#

[Mephista]

That looked cool.

Hey Lee, you can delete his account since he is nolonger here.

[Defunc13]

#a small pacth of mold forms on the ground, it spells out#

who said I'm not...
if a vampire can turn into bats or rat-swarms why can't I turn into mold & hop my consciousness around gingerbread styley...
just thought I'd fake my death so I don't have to argue about what I know works cause otherwise it wouldn't happen (unless that was a dream):p

#the mold disperses#

[Mephista]

*BelDragos yanks Defunct back into his form and prevents him from using his ability*

Thanks Bel. Now I can beat on him. Wait, wrong thread.

[Defunc13]

theres nothing to say that isn't my natrual form(it's not), or that ur gonna be able to catch me.....

#defunc13 disappears in a puff of stage-smoke#

[Dravlon]

*the smoke fades and he is seen standing there up to his knees in the ground. Dravlon rises out of the earth and chuckles*

Now don't go running off.

[Defunc13]

yet another fake-Defunc13 falls apart....

the real Defunc13 is nowhere around

[BelDragos]

hehehe

*Lee appears. Everyone God and Mortal alike stand before him stunned by his presence.*

I've had enough of this "it's not the real me" crap!

*Lee using the Power of one of the Creators summons the real Defunct to the assembly. He also destroys all the fakes to get them out of his way.

Let's get this Thread on the way!

*Lee twists Reality and is no longer there. Nobody can detect his presence but they all know he is watching.*


*Everyone feels like they can move again. BelDragos looks around nervously.*

I think we angered someone...


OOC: Sorry Lee but I had to get this moving. Feel free to edit or delete if you wish.

[Defunc13]

not to complain but....
I was trying to leave this thread via roleplay.... just cause u wouldn't let me go that way u brought it on urself:p

Defunc flickers, then disappears piggybacking on Lee's reality-twist

[Mephista]

sorry, it sounded like you were doing a "you can't get me" thing.

[Defunc13]

well u can't:P ....

#out for now#

[Mephista]

Let's get this thing moving again. We can't let a good thing like this thread to die. Does anyone think they can take me on?

Either answer me here or meet me in the arena.